In a rather silly and premature attempt to get back into the dating world, I signed up a couple days ago on a dating website. Yesterday I received the following message from one of the male users:
"So its Fall already and a movie night with someone cute over cuddle is so on the cards! You are cute but how good are at cuddles?
Keeping its simpple if you fancy me how about a cooking experiment over a bottle of wine followed by a movie night on my 42 inches cuddled up on my couch."
Please excuse the poor grammar and bad spelling; I quoted.
So to make this more interesting, this guy had actually dated one of my close friends. He is a jerk and treated her like crap.
I immediately messaged said friend and gave her the details. Obviously, the best option would be to ignore him as he is not worthy of a response.
We didn't go with the best option. We went with the "you're a jerk and everyone knows it" option. This was my response:
"Hello,
Hmm, you certainly do seem to like cuddling. Perhaps you weren't held enough as a child? I hear that can cause development issues as children grow older.
That sounds like a lot of fun. Just one problem: after hearing how you treated a close friend of mine, I think you're a jackass and I would rather be impaled through my eyes than meet up with you.
XOXO!"
If I were a bit more southern, I suppose I would have thrown in a "bless your heart" somewhere, but it is what it is and I'm pretty darn proud.
XOXO,
~K
You can tell a lot about a person based on their poor spelling and grammar. When I made my foray into online dating it was my first deal breaker. Good luck! ;)
ReplyDelete~Tales from a Bar Stool
Haha! I LOVE your response - you are my new hero! :)
ReplyDeleteGreat response! My general policy on things is if someone brings up things like cuddling (or worse... sex) in the first couple of messages, they totally get ignored.
ReplyDeleteI love your response. It always feels so good to rip into an over-confident jerk like that!
ReplyDeleteNot bad. I'll raise you a terrible first date in a flamenco costume to your cuddle message from Mr. 42 inches.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.dnoflows.com/2011/10/29/blind-date/