Oh honey, you messed with the wrong girl

"Go shawty, it's your birthday
We gonna party like it's your birthday
We gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birthday
And you know we don't give a f***, it's not your birthday"

Yes, dear readers, this is one of my birthday weekends. One I say, because my birthday falls during the week. Therefore, I feel entitled to considering next weekend my birthday weekend as well.

To celebrate my impending aging, I went out a local dance club with a couple girlfriends. It was a blast, and they refused to let me pay for any beverage.

However, while we were at the bar getting another round, Drunk Skeezball came up behind me and groped my butt.Well, I was having none of that. I immediately turned around, which startled D.S. Imagine his shock when this little 5'2" girl decided to give him a piece of her mind!

"Excuse me!" I began, quite heated. "Did your mama not teach you better manners than that??" Oh, dearest, beloved readers, the look on his face was priceless. He mumbled out an apology. My reply? "I REALLY DON'T CARE!"

Unfortunately, D.S. is not exactly a rarity. There are many more of his kind. On one of our previous outings, I was seated toward the end of a couch talking with my friends. Ugly Grossguy decides to sit down on the couch at my end, which does not have enough space for another person. UG therefore is not merely sitting next to me. No no no, he is partially on top of my thigh. Well, I was not about to let this slide.

I turned to UG and let out my tried-and-true jab, "What the HECK do you think you're doing on top of me?? Did your mother not teach you how to treat women? Get away from me NOW!"

Well, that did the trick. He bolted within seconds.

I think guys need to be reminded every once in a while that we are not just potential lays. We're girls grown into women, just like their mom.

Feisty but tired,

~K

On Edge

So if you're a girl, and you have ever gone out dancing, I'm pretty sure that you can relate to what I'm about to say.

Saturday night, my roommate and I went out to a nearby club, and while the music was not ideal, we kept moving. Soon, more and more people started showing up, which was definitely a good thing. Unfortunately, with more people came The Creepers! You know them; they're the guys who hang around the edge of the dance floor, maybe standing still, maybe doing their awkward little dance by themselves. Well, they kept their eyes on us, as we were relatively close to them, and they kept either trying to force their way into dancing with us, or they'd grab an arm and say something along the lines of "Heyyyy, wanna dance?" with the meaning in their voice indicating that they expected a positive answer.

Let me just put this out there: HECK NO, I DON'T WANT TO DANCE WITH ALL YOU CREEPY GUYS!

I don't know if there is some sort of rule book for clubs, but proper etiquette dictates that you politely ask a girl to dance. You do not grind up on her. You do not assume that she will say 'yes'. Basically, you do not act like a creepy jerk.

Thank you.

~K