Gone fishing

Online dating: curse or bane of singletons everywhere? I haven't decided, but I have gotten quite a few stories out of my experiences. Here's just a sample message I was recently sent:

"Hi,
Offering something a bit more old fashion...Welcome to my page. What do I have to offer? What is in it for you? What about you, yourself, your desires, wishes , wants ,needs and on and on the list goes.

I don't have to talk about my job, cause I don't have or need one. I am set up just fine financially with a simple lifestyle after having travelled to many countries of the world. I never got the chance to be a real dad yet and now is the time.You could keep your job if you like, but if you have children you won't be working at a job cause you are too busy chasing your children around the house and yard. The real joy in life includes children and why you are not fulfilled with all your hobbies , free time and what not. Nor has your job satisfied you either, though you spent years in jobs and now you decided you want a family at your age! ........"

This message did, of course, come from a man old enough to be my father.

Conversation about dating

me: I may have just discovered a million-dollar idea
There aren't any dating sites for Scandinavia boys who want american women

friend: Lol

me: Whatever. I want a Scandinavian hubby
who looks like a viking

friend: Haha I say go for it

me: How????

friend: Lol find a techy guy

me: They're indian
Been there done that

Ok, gotta find an Alexander Skarsgard lookalike!



Single in Seattle,

~K

So Open Minded

A while back, I was dating The Persian (or TP for short). We had met through an online dating site, and while messaging back and forth, he had told me how one of the characteristics that he seeks out is open-mindedness to others.

I sensed that he had met with quite a few people who did not think particularly well of Persians and Iran in general, and therefore treated him poorly.

He seemed like a great guy. He held doors open, he always made sure to pay for drinks or meals even if I offered, and he preferred to pick me up and drive places. He was a bit traditional in gender roles, but growing up with a stay-at-home mom, I was used to that and his stance was not extreme.

What did bother me, however, was after going on and on about how people should be open-minded, he decided to start saying how horrible Asian drivers were. This turned into a rant against Asians in general. I was a bit miffed, but perhaps he'd had first-hand experience with a large enough sampling of Asians to make this a fair statement? I let it slide.

Then he brought up my faith. I had clearly stated on my profile that I was a Christian. So of course normal polite conversation took a turn toward religion and how in the world could an intelligent girl like me truly believe all the stuff in the Bible?? Seriously.

Well, this guy must have sensed he was on a roll, because he did not stop there. We began by discussing different places we would love to visit one day. Toward the top of my list was Israel. He asked me why I would want to go there, given the violence. I countered that there will always be issues in the Middle East, so anytime is as good as any other. This is where it gets really good. He asked, rhetorically, why are they even fighting? Why didn't the Israelis just leave? Yeah. That happened.

So, to recap, the open-minded Persian doesn't like Asians, thinks Christians are stupid, and has decided that an entire country has no right to their land.

In case you were wondering, I'm not pining away for this one.

Closed-minded to stupidity,

~K

Dating in the Technological Age

Once again I found myself searching profiles, looking for keywords that indicated possibilities of that ever-evasive "connection". I signed up for two different sites, have spoken with a number of different men, and feel no closer to love.

Am I once again looking for love in the wrong places? I thought that this is where "young professionals" come to meet their match! Is mine out there? Or will I have to continued weeding through messages from 56-year-old men with creepy pick-up lines, prematurely balding players, occasional women (I don't roll that way, honey), and foreign men who think American women are easy? I sincerely hope not.

Yet that is what I often go through. I have gone out with a few different guys, and have corresponded with a few others. Sometimes they flake out before we ever meet, other times they flake out after.

Then there's a completely different issue: what if I don't find them physically attractive? I'm not saying I'm holding out for Hugh Jackman (unless of course, he's available!), but what happens if I see a picture and I just absolutely cannot imagine myself making out with him? To me, there has to be some level of physical attraction. It isn't everything, but it is something. If I don't find a guy attractive at all, he's getting deleted. I do this just as much for him as for myself. After all, what guy wants to be with a girl who doesn't want to make out with him, or feels like she's merely settling for him?

And there's that label...settling. I want to settle down meaning that I find someone, but I don't want to settle. And I don't want to really settle down. I want to find someone who will take on life with me. I want to have adventures together, even in the mundane. The phrase "settling down" has a trace of dullness to it. That isn't what I want.

What do I want, you ask? Everything: love, loyalty, adoration, etc. Truth be told, it seems like mission: impossible..without Tom Cruise.

Still single, still yours,

~K