Dating in the Technological Age

Once again I found myself searching profiles, looking for keywords that indicated possibilities of that ever-evasive "connection". I signed up for two different sites, have spoken with a number of different men, and feel no closer to love.

Am I once again looking for love in the wrong places? I thought that this is where "young professionals" come to meet their match! Is mine out there? Or will I have to continued weeding through messages from 56-year-old men with creepy pick-up lines, prematurely balding players, occasional women (I don't roll that way, honey), and foreign men who think American women are easy? I sincerely hope not.

Yet that is what I often go through. I have gone out with a few different guys, and have corresponded with a few others. Sometimes they flake out before we ever meet, other times they flake out after.

Then there's a completely different issue: what if I don't find them physically attractive? I'm not saying I'm holding out for Hugh Jackman (unless of course, he's available!), but what happens if I see a picture and I just absolutely cannot imagine myself making out with him? To me, there has to be some level of physical attraction. It isn't everything, but it is something. If I don't find a guy attractive at all, he's getting deleted. I do this just as much for him as for myself. After all, what guy wants to be with a girl who doesn't want to make out with him, or feels like she's merely settling for him?

And there's that label...settling. I want to settle down meaning that I find someone, but I don't want to settle. And I don't want to really settle down. I want to find someone who will take on life with me. I want to have adventures together, even in the mundane. The phrase "settling down" has a trace of dullness to it. That isn't what I want.

What do I want, you ask? Everything: love, loyalty, adoration, etc. Truth be told, it seems like mission: impossible..without Tom Cruise.

Still single, still yours,

~K

My dating life

Happy February, dear ones! It has been quite chilly lately, though I've heard it's worse on the other side of the country. If you are over there and reading this, you certainly have my sympathy.

Once again (or still), I am completely single. B and I were never in a relationship, so I can't say that I was ever taken, but once we started dating I was less on the market. Today Koko and I were discussing ways to meet guys and discussing whether online dating is now necessary or if one can still meet a good guy through friends.

Well, meeting guys through friends isn't always that easy. My social circle has decreased since moving back to Washington, and of those that I see on a regular basis, male friends hardly make an appearance.

There's also the fact that I have tried dating friends of friends. Neither time worked out, though it had nothing to do with my friends. The Double J's were both looking for other things; one wanted me as a rebound and the other was wanting to get physical faster than was comfortable.

To the people who want me to just live up being single, I say this to you: I have been single for 25 years (minus 5 months). I've enjoyed it, certainly. It's been just swell and peachy but I do want to be with someone. And I want that to happen soon.

To all my dear readers, I say this: I will seek out love, not in desperation or envy. If it gets to that, I will stop looking. I will seek love purely because I want to love and be loved. Wish me luck!

With love,

~K

A Dating Drought

It seems like most girls begin dating in highschool. I didn't. I didn't think I was allowed to, but it was a moot point since I wasn't asked out. To be fair to all the awkward homeschool and youth group boys of my acquaintance, I was quite an ugly duckling. I had acne, braces then a retainer then braces again, I had no idea how to do my hair, and my fashion sense was a bit off.

College brought more dating opportunities, but I still didn't go out that much. Since moving back to Washington, I've gone out with a few guys here and there, but nothing of substance.

At the age of 25, I have had one boyfriend. Will there be a second? Hopefully.

So right now I'm in a drought...and a funk. Oh, guys will hit on me when I go dancing with my friends and I did have dinner with an adorable firefighter. But I am still single.

In the past, I have taken what I could get. That doesn't really work anymore. I don't want to be a doormat. What do I want? Nothing exceptional; I simply want to be adored. It is my belief that a lot of insecurities that arise in young women regarding their relationships are caused by the fact that they are not given any reason to feel secure.

I live in a land known for its lack of connection. We have what is known as The Seattle Freeze. It's just difficult to meet new people!

Any tips for my dating journey?

Single in Seattle,

~K

Single on the Eastside

Some days Facebook really depresses me. Why is it that every other time I sign on I am greeted by images of engagement rings, wedding gowns, and silly couple pictures. As a 23-, almost 24-year-old, I am quite aware that I am reaching "that" age. The age where everyone around me seems to be coupling up or already coupled.

And then there's me. Okay, I'm not completely alone in my loneliness...I do know other singles. However, my rant would certainly not be as effective if I gave way to consolation at this point.

...back to me. Working 45 hours a week and always having a desire to get a good night's rest is not ideal for meeting a guy. Frankly, I am really not in that many situations anymore where I have opportunity to meet new people. I really don't know how I would make time for more activities that would enable me to meet The One.

So for now it seems that I am destined for 45 hour work weeks sprinkled with occasional girl-time sleepovers, karaoke nights, and dancing at my favorite clubs (which happens once every blue moon).

Sigh. Such is my life.