Friday, August 6, 2010


Sometimes in my life, I get so caught up in the cycle of life. Day after day I find myself going to the same places, doing the same things, and never stopping to enjoy the life that keeps speeding by. Once in this rut, it is such a tricky thing to get out. I've done it before, and I sincerely hope that I can do it again.

Just a few short months away, I will have been on this earth and out of the womb for a quarter of a century. Perhaps in the grand scheme of things, it isn't that long, but it sure seems like a lot of time to have so little accomplished. Every passing moment reminds me of the things that I still have yet to do. My passport remains empty, and I have the last name that I've always had.

Facebook constantly reminds me of all the fabulous things that those around me are doing. I suppose that it's only makes sense to highlight all of the wonderful things you do for the world to see, rather than the dull day-to-day activities (though some people post those, too).

I want to do so much, but I hate facing my own disappointment when I don't make my goals. While the lack of a degree may not change the way my family and friends see me, I see it as a failure. Meeting up with old friends or out-of-town family members and one of the first topics of discussion is the love life. In my case, it is a lack of one. One boyfriend in my entire life, with the relationship only lasting 5 months, seems a bit sad. I've dated on and off since, but it's mostly off. At 24, I still have no idea of "what I want to be when I grow up."

As my life changes, it also stays very much the same. The seasons change around me as I stay still.

Right now I need a jump start.


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