Thursday, July 16, 2009

Disturbing Behavior: Date Rape

Last night to celebrate Hump Day, my roommate and I decided to break from our Saturday-only rule and go sing karaoke. We went to our usual spot; a lounge in the back of a Chinese restaurant in Bellevue. We saw a couple of the regulars, and took our regular table. Deciding that it was a bit late in the game, we each only put in three songs. I was up first, and I believe that I gave a decent performance of "America" by Neil Diamond.

Unfortunately, Stacy was unable to hear a word I sang as some creepy guy kept talking to her throughout my entire song. He asked her to dance repeatedly and would not take a hint. Once I had finished, I sat down and that creepy guy (we'll refer to him as Perve) started talking to me. I just wanted to drink my diet coke and enjoy our girl time in peace. Perve wanted me to dance with him. I did not want to dance with Perve, and I told him that I would not be dancing.

A couple songs later, Stacy gave a lovely performance of "Landslide" by Fleetwood Mac. A few songs after that, it was Perve's time to shine. His song of choice? "Date Rape" by Sublime. Considering that this particular venue prides itself on its 12,000+ song book, I don't understand why that would be the song he chose. It did, however, fit him perfectly. Stacy and I were steaming mad and left soonafter.

I cannot understand how anyone would write (or sing) a song like that. This is not a silly little song to sing at karaoke, and I really do not care if the song punishes the rapist. It's still disgusting and abhorable.

ABC News had an article about a date rapist who was acquitted several times. Reading about this man, I fail to see how he became the monster that he now is. Every man was once a little boy. Between the age of innocence and a life in prison, something went very wrong and I'm not sure what exactly it was.

On top of this, the date rapist's victims kept in contact with him and often would later have consenual sex with him. It seems that the idea of "idenification with the agressor" comes into play here. What other people see as a horrible person that committed one of the most violating of acts against a woman, the woman may see as a man who was just too overcome with desire and did what he had to do, even if it wasn't right. Humanizing such acts and belittling their consequences upon the victim is absolutely wrong.

No comments:

Post a Comment

Post a Comment