Wednesday, October 5, 2011

Screw you, XOXO!

In a rather silly and premature attempt to get back into the dating world, I signed up a couple days ago on a dating website. Yesterday I received the following message from one of the male users:

"So its Fall already and a movie night with someone cute over cuddle is so on the cards! You are cute but how good are at cuddles?

Keeping its simpple if you fancy me how about a cooking experiment over a bottle of wine followed by a movie night on my 42 inches cuddled up on my couch."

Please excuse the poor grammar and bad spelling; I quoted.

So to make this more interesting, this guy had actually dated one of my close friends. He is a jerk and treated her like crap.

I immediately messaged said friend and gave her the details. Obviously, the best option would be to ignore him as he is not worthy of a response.

We didn't go with the best option. We went with the "you're a jerk and everyone knows it" option. This was my response:


Hmm, you certainly do seem to like cuddling. Perhaps you weren't held enough as a child? I hear that can cause development issues as children grow older.

That sounds like a lot of fun. Just one problem: after hearing how you treated a close friend of mine, I think you're a jackass and I would rather be impaled through my eyes than meet up with you.


If I were a bit more southern, I suppose I would have thrown in a "bless your heart" somewhere, but it is what it is and I'm pretty darn proud.




  1. You can tell a lot about a person based on their poor spelling and grammar. When I made my foray into online dating it was my first deal breaker. Good luck! ;)
    ~Tales from a Bar Stool

  2. Haha! I LOVE your response - you are my new hero! :)

  3. Great response! My general policy on things is if someone brings up things like cuddling (or worse... sex) in the first couple of messages, they totally get ignored.

  4. I love your response. It always feels so good to rip into an over-confident jerk like that!

  5. Not bad. I'll raise you a terrible first date in a flamenco costume to your cuddle message from Mr. 42 inches.